Strong Boundaries are Compassionate
Clear and firm boundaries are not selfish. Not mean. Not bitchy.
They are an expression of compassion towards yourself and others.
Knowing what is ok and not ok for you in terms of how you are treated and how you treat yourself is a very clear way to build self-confidence.
Why?
Because acting in accordance with your true values builds self-confidence.
Because treating yourself well builds a sense of, I matter, which builds self-confidence.
Because it is much easier to feel confident when you are not exhausted from over-giving.
Setting clear and firm boundaries also communicates to others, I respect myself and my time, and you should too.
When you build self-respect and demand it from others, your performance will be enhanced, too.
I was working with a client last year who had taken on a new, high-powered job while running her own business.
She worked with me on setting boundaries from the start so that she didn’t soon find herself overwhelmed working 100 hours a week.
This can be hard, depending on your work culture and the lessons you learned in childhood.
When you know your value, it’s easier to be clear with a boss about what you are willing to do.
Clear and firm boundaries also give you freedom.
If you are willing to work endlessly, over time, you obviously lose time for other parts of your life. It’s a choice.
If you are always available when certain people want you, it is a formula for losing your energy and gaining resentment.
Knowing and living by the “right” degree of output for you - whether it’s time or mental energy - is one of the highest forms of self respect and love.
By the way, if you are mom, by role modeling this way of being for your girls and boys, you are demonstrating what respect, love, taking charge of your life, confidence and freedom looks like.
For a few years, I ran a workshop called, Building Boundaries for Work & Life. I have since updated this newsletter, but kept the workshop topics here, as I often address them with clients in individual coaching and current workshops/programs - after supporting many, many clients with boundary setting, I deeply feel it’s a crucial piece of being energized, confident, and frankly, highly successful.
Learn why it’s so hard to set boundaries
Create and maintain space for yourself
Lose the guilt
Clearly communicate what you want
Set new parameters for when/how you give of yourself that is in alignment for YOU
Build new beliefs around the concept of selfishness
Effectively handle push back from people in your life
Take new weekly steps, putting boundaries in place
If you know or sense that boundary setting is a problem at work - and this may be you even with decades of your career under your belt - reach out and we can discuss what changes you would like to make.
